Caught in the Hustle

 

Hustle:

(1) To have the courage, confidence, self-belief and self-determination to go out there and work it out until you find the opportunities you want in life.

(2) Work hard, usually towards the common goal of creating income.

– Urban Dictionary


As a runner, it is easy to get caught up in the hustle. Run fast. Win Races. Get Money.  This is the process. Typically once you no longer depend on this cycle, you are considered to have “made it.”

It sounds simple: Run Fast. This season in my hustle as an 800m runner, I let the measurable numbers cloud the healthy dialogue in my head. Steeper standards, cost of living, pacing money, World rankings, IAAF point scoring, number of likes and followers, race sections, lanes, contracts, race time, heart rate zone, dates, body weight, splits, ferritin levels. Unintentionally, I started focusing on these “measurables.” The numbers. I tried to know them. Understand them. Organize them. Control them.

The problem was, I reached a point where I thought the numbers defined me as an athlete. I was unsatisfied being referred to by my times instead of my name, so I made a plan to achieve the numbers I thought would earn an outsiders respect; to ultimately be known for me, Adrea. I was healthy, my season was rolling, I was ready. I was able to get to the halfway mark in the previously defined “hustle” because this year I had opportunity. I was accepted into meets. I ran PB times. I was on the start list next to some very talented names, had good weather, sections, and fast tracks.

The problem was I let myself fixate on the numbers. Despite my steady improvements, I thought about the numbers more. I wanted to look better on paper and feel like I could be taken seriously and competitively. I did not see, that people already were taking me seriously despite the mispronunciations of my name. More opportunity races arrived but this time I lost. I didn’t run to my capabilities. The result times reflected this. The frustrating part was I knew I had all of the pieces ready to fall into place and I couldn’t figure out why they weren’t. All I could see were the numbers, and they were not changing how I thought they would. I wasn’t understanding them and I didn’t want to admit some were out of my control.

Unfortunately it took me a series of races, and a number of failed attempts to identify what was going wrong. I continued to run slower, I felt homesick, I started having hamstring restrictions, and went to bed even more disappointed and frustrated. To top it off I overheard negative gossip suggesting I was lazy, I was hated, and I needed to prove myself. Hearing this, I felt hurt, and wasn’t able to just brush it off. I unintentionally made another mistake to wonder if the gossip was true.

But with the help of my brother, I caught myself. I recognized I was in a downward spiral. I tried to flip it, because I knew this is not what I wanted, nor was it who I am. I finally asked myself, what do I want? What does it look like? Getting out in nature and literally changing what I was seeing helped bring some clarity. But it did take me some time to genuinely answer. When I did, I realized I had lost sight of my Why. Why do I run?

As I reconnected to my Why, I found I had unintentionally replaced my Why with doubt. Doubt that came at the cost of my self-confidence for longer than I would like to admit. As I  continued unravelling the narrative, I had the aha! moment. I saw clearly that I had lost focus of my true goals to the hustle.

The final lesson? I realized the hustle is the process, not the goal.

So how did I realign my mindset to my goals?

1) I went back to my fall journal, and made time to consider my real goals and intentions. “Be the best version of myself – both on and off the track. “ and “Be and pursue greatness!”

2) Connect with my people. I am lucky to have such an amazing group of family, friends, and supporters who are always a short phone call away. Thank-you! You know who you are!

3) Understand the hustle is a changeable process. Remove what isn’t working. Confront the gossip with truth, and spend less energy on the “numbers”.  Do what you already know works, and trust. In most situations, it is important to remember people are normally, inherently good- not malicious.

4) Know that actions speak louder than words. Daydream the big goal, but more importantly DO something to achieve the big goal.

Final thoughts:

If you find yourself caught in the hustle, it’s okay. You most likely put yourself there, which means you also have the ability to take yourself out. In my situation, knowing your Why is a big help in shifting back into your best self. Other times taking the time to go back to your roots and grounding yourself is always helpful.

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Much love,

Adrea

 

 

 

 

 

 

International Summer Tour 2017: Next Stop: Ninove, Belgium

International Summer Tour: 2017

Memorial Geert Rasschaert 2017 Meet

Meet Results link: http://liveresults.be/2017/memorial-rasschaert/event014h02.html

Welcome back,

After a few travel days, I am officially off to begin my running debut in Belgium, Europe! I’ll admit I needed a few days to settle into the new time zone and home base Leuven, before feeling race-ready. Race #1 of the European circuit was in Ninove, Belgium, less than two hours away. Going into this meet I had the usual nerves, but was anxiously anticipating how this was going to be different from a North American meet. Before I knew it, I had packed my racing kit, a cooler of recovery food, then was following my Vic City Elite crew to the train station. A few delays and hustling across platforms led us to meet up with fellow Vancouver athletes. Together, we walked two kilometres through the city from train to the stadium. To put this in perspective there were roughly twenty athletes lined single file walking through the town center all in athletic clothes and backpacks. Most locals stopped and stared at us as we passed through. Up to this point, I had been a sheep following the pack of athletes. Someone at the front must know where we were going, right?

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Train Station Shenanigans – Photo Credit- Casey Atkin 2017

Upon arrival, I did not know what to expect for my first Europe race. Within our group I was scheduled to race first which meant I had the least amount of time to observe any differences of how the meet may be hosted. The main advice I was given was to expect chaos, and know nothing is definite until you are lined up on the start line. In my mind this meant expect chaos. To compensate the forewarned chaos I forced myself to be surprisingly calm all day and throughout the travel leading to the evening race. With only 15 minutes to buffer arrival and my warm-up I settled in to the meet atmosphere quite quickly.

As I wrapped up the warm-up jog I started scouting out a place to do some dynamic drills and joined the 800m ladies along a gravel/pavement strip outside the stadium. As I was scanning the pathway for smooth surfaces one girl was aimed straight for me running out her stride. As general courtesy I stepped to the side to stay out of her way onto what I thought was grass. Surprise! None of it was grass. It was all stinging nettle and I had an instant reaction with shooting hot pains going across my exposed skin. On the plus side I was wearing long running tights but the nettle wrapped through my ankle and was inside the tongue of my shoe causing it to brush against my foot with every step I took. My first thoughts were denial and this isn’t that bad. As my skin turned from red and stinging to white bumps and insanely itchy I knew I had to accept this was my reality.

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Stinging Nettle

In hindsight looking back, I was so calm this day, that I did not freak out or feel startled by this. This was the unexpected chaos I had been expecting; besides it was runnable, more irritating than anything. After finding out my race was 10 minutes delayed I told Geoff my situation and he escorted me to the medical tent. I still do not know if they spoke Dutch or Flemish, but the translation I interpreted was the medical’s laughing and saying the best way to handle it was to urinate or spit on the sting, similar to a jellyfish reaction. I think as I processed the thought of them spitting on my ankle my face reflected this, which only made them laugh harder. Eventually they sprayed some cooling mist on it, and said I was good to go. It was time to marshal in at the start line.

I watched the 3000m steeplechase and then the first section of the women’s 800m from the start line. They were all fast and it was my turn to go next. The gun went off and I hopped onto the front of the pack in my race with the pacer and behind teammate Laurence. Without a doubt they are the reason we pulled through a 600m PB pace and ultimately an 800m PB and win! After I crossed the finish line I saw my time on the screen and went to smile at the realization of the time I had finished with! It was here I knew how scrunched my face was because of the amount of effort it took to shift into a smile. I knew I had a first class “pain face” because I’d forgotten to relax. This was further verified by photos posted after the race. (See photos below) Not only had I run a heat winning PB, but I also had set the Saskatchewan 800m record! I’ve never looked so forward to sending in my results.

Ninove. Adrea:Laurence

The Homestretch to Finish Line – Ninove, Belgium 2017

Ninove- Adrea - deathface

First Class “Pain Face”

 

So what was the factor? What finally pulled me through to a PB time. I wish I had a simple answer! The best way I can explain that race was having focused acceptance. Zero hesitation. After the stinging nettle (Which I initially thought was poison ivy) I was asked my race plan. In my head, all I wanted to say was run. Before I had a chance to answer – Geoff told me there was a rabbit going in 59.0 for Laurence. Laurence is going for it. You should too. Whatever you have left for the last 100m or 200m who knows, just go for it. Because Why not? I accepted this plan in full. This is exactly what I executed.  I see no point in pondering what-if scenario’s, but I do know I had a lot of help in this race from a pacer, and my teammate Laurence. She definitely helped me through 700m and I owe her a huge thank-you for taking me through that pace. The lactic headache and post-race nausea were all worth it.

Rereading this, I can appreciate that running is a weird sport. Nowhere else would I be happy to have a lactic headache and throw up especially if it is self-induced. Overall, Ninove was an evening trip that I won’t forget. My brief exposure between train and track was beautiful landscapes, church architecture, and fields of stinging nettle. The meet was friendly, and a fun atmosphere with non-athlete spectators! I am looking forward to racing this meet in the future, but for now it’s time for recovery, next race is only four days away!

Stay Tuned for a Day trip and Kayaks!

Much love,

Adrea